OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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