I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
zippers are such a cool invention
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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