I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
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Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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