Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize