I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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