who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
