if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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