Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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