I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
