No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just had sex bonerless
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
