shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
