Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
