that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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