ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
