I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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