butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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