her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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