ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
