its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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