I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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