would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
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I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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