I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
