who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she smelled like a LAN party
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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