I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
