I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
