She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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