Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
