I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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