life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
