in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
vagina is talking i cant
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
