She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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