I think I am morally bankrupt
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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