"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
