Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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