that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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