: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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