I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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