Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's never too late to be topless.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
