ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
