I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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