Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
