I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
