I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
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Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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