Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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