weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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