I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
