Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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