it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
