I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize