Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
