Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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