dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she peed on how many people?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
