I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
