My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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