It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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