I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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