dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
how does that bad decision feel?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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