life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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