And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
