his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
