btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize