My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's the barista slut.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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