My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
