peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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