We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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