I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
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