I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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