we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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