And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
