she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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