he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Damn victory sex feels great
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
