I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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